Yesterday’s post did carry a bit of negative emotion, and I am very sorry if it caused any misunderstandings… However, I will not delete the post. On one hand, I have edited the content, so there is no need to worry about any risk of being monitored; on the other hand, I thought that looking back in the future, I should be able to re-experience this raw feeling of just arriving! Isn’t that the whole point of why I write these diaries?

Back to the point: tonight should finally bring a very comfortable sleep. For one thing, I found a “pickup only” latex mattress nearby on Xianyu and received the wisdom of a true native Beijinger (actually an older sister). For another, after further discussion with them, we bought a bunk bed. No more sleeping on the floor!

There weren’t many fixed arrangements today (or rather, none at all), so I ran to a nearby library recommended by a classmate and spent half the day there. When I arrived, it was already packed with people, and I only managed to snag a seat because someone happened to get up and leave.

I spread enough study supplies across the table to look impressive, though most of them served purely as set dressing. I accomplished quite a bit by the end of the day, yet a sense of emptiness remained.

In the evening, I went to a classmate to “pour my heart out.” While listening to him venting on my behalf, I stuffed myself with pork belly (so fatty!), and as a result, I ate too much and had to go out for a walk to digest. It was also a rare occasion where I proactively (?) chatted with my parents, formally talking about my life here.

Only after aligning our perspectives did I realize that we all seemed to have many misunderstandings. But my friend’s advice still makes a lot of sense: “correct mistakes if you have made them and guard against them if you have not!” Tomorrow, I plan to have a good talk with them about our scheduling issues. I wonder what kind of image I have in their mind now… Will I be seen as an exceptionally troublesome person? Ah, chatting with a local friend in the evening made me realize that the folding bed was a second-hand item he bought. Looking at it this way, my behavior of directly buying a brand-new bed this morning was indeed a bit thoughtless. Perhaps I still need more experience in these matters to grow.

So I hope to explain everything clearly, and to arrange everything well. Perhaps that is too much for someone with such a painfully accurate sense of his own self-discipline… But as my friend said before leaving: entrust the outcome to God.