Living away from home makes spending money every day almost unavoidable, and I am increasingly convinced that I need to keep a budget. On one hand, I am forever buying things on impulse; on the other, I am forever discovering things I lack. I need a daily spending limit, or it will not be long before I have to hold out my hand and ask for money again (laugh).

Ah? Didn’t get it? Humorous analysis: the first character of the items you must bring every day when going out: ID card (Shenfenzheng), Phone (Shouji), Keys (Yaoshi), Wallet (Qianbao)—Shou-Ji-Yao-Qian (literally sounds like “actively asking for money”) (who asked you anyway).

Reflecting on the past few days, if I were to summarize, I’d say I’m someone who is very good at setting up “flags” (resolutions) but always lacks the drive to act. For example, I still haven’t finished that writeup (although the reference materials are all collected). Even though no one is rushing me, if the timeliness is gone, doesn’t it lose its meaning? (But does anyone actually care about this?) Okay, writing it tomorrow!

Tonight’s lecture was our first experiment with collaborative learning, and my overall impression was: inefficient. “No prepared lesson” does not mean “no preparation.” Next time we need substantial reading beforehand to give the discussion some weight.

Lately, I’ve also been trying to teach a classmate how to do part-time work, but I always worry: with my half-baked skills, would teaching them count as leading them astray? (

I feel as though I have been terribly busy these last few days, yet I cannot say what kept me busy. Before the old has passed, the new has already arrived. If I do not record it in time, it will probably vanish from memory, and we will fast-forward directly to me stammering when somebody asks. Forever lost between other people’s demands and my own sense of achievement, perhaps I simply need to go outside and walk more often.

At least this way, I won’t lose my direction, nor will I doubt if every step I take is being watched by others.

I hope that just like the song currently playing in my headphones, “looking back, a sense of spring has already quietly sprouted.”

Or, should I look up?