Kuala Lumpur

Met a driver with quite a life story and practiced my English the entire ride. We went from Malaysia to the rest of the world, from school and work to the future global order, from AI to universal morality. (Honestly more useful than my last English class, hehe.) He works for an international environmental organization—or something involving wildlife, anyway—and has traveled all over the world through his work. My own experience rather paled beside his… We agreed that “a truly good job should be something you love.” Oh, and all three of his children went into the arts: the eldest directs films, the second teaches music in Singapore, and the youngest works in 3D animation! He said he normally drives only private clients; today he happened to be going to the airport to pick someone up and took me along on the way. Win-win! ...

In the end, the snow I had been waiting for never came—not in Chengde, and not in Hangzhou…

On the night before my exam, I saw stars in the Malaysian sky for the first time. With an apparent magnitude of around −4, it shone brilliantly among the scattered pinpricks around it. I checked my star chart and recognized Venus, the symbol of love and beauty. Funny: three years ago, when a crowd of us huddled on the balcony of Room 2901 in the middle of the night, this very same morning star was what we found through the telescope. In my memory, it glittered just as brightly then. ...

Then let them remain unspoken! Having just finished Boring Notes, I feel invincible! Homework? What’s that? Not doing it! (Checks schedule… Fine, I’ll write for four or five minutes.) I finally understand why, even when I have something to say, I sometimes cannot bring myself to start writing: there are simply more convenient ways to make time disappear. Give me a phone and an hour, and whatever I meant to write will slowly blow away like marks in the sand, never to be seen again. ...

So often my heart is full, yet when I try to speak, the words refuse to come.

I really am far too easily affected by other people. Today, the passage I shared did not actually fit its context, and Mr. Zhang used the occasion to teach us a little. I was deeply unhappy about it. I racked my brain, checked the ESV, dug into the original Hebrew—and found that I really did seem to be wrong. Rather than admit it, I went hunting through every side alley for evidence in my defense, so desperately that I missed what my classmates shared afterward. (Not that I was the one taking notes.) ...

I can’t say I planned to disappear, but somehow an entire month has gone by. The school week isn’t even over yet, but I remembered this diary last night, so I suppose it is time to sit down and write honestly about myself. Whenever someone asks, “How’s school?”, my answer is usually, “Not bad. The English-speaking environment is just a little hard to get used to.” Studying entirely in English is a challenge for us, of course, but it is hardly the only one. I chose EAL, CFL, Mathematical Methods, Physics, Chemistry, and Economics—a fairly STEM-heavy load. There is now the tiniest possibility that I could carry all six into Grade 12 and sit every exam without dropping a single subject. That would multiply the workload, but it might also mean a scholarship and… other things. ...

Technically, this should count as the entry for the 12th. But I was really tired yesterday… so tired that I simply left my phone off for the entire flight. Yesterday morning began with dragging myself out of bed and racing for the train. Once in Shenzhen, I had lunch at Mr. Zhang Jing’s place and gave my talk. Then it was off to the airport in the afternoon to meet the “Shenzhen squad.” Nine p.m.—takeoff! ...